People are time consuming life sucking money burning leeches. That’s how it feels to be an introvert sometimes. Unaware until my early 20’s, I had some level of depression in high school and college because I thought of myself as not normal. Our culture values extroverted qualities. Introversion is another topic next week. In this post, I want to speak to the value of intentional friendships.
Here’s some difficult truth for today: I wish I have more friends, and more time for friends. And sometimes I wish friends who have more time for me, or lived closer to me, or didn’t call another country home. Sometimes, it’s been so long since we’ve talked I can’t pull myself together enough to break the silence and say hi again. Lost opportunities.
I’m sure if you’re reading this you consider yourself my friend. You are. Thank you. But like all things in life your level of friendship is on a continuum – from someone I met a few times to I need to see you all to the time to I can hang out with out once in a blue moon and be good because we’re good like that (wherever you are on this continuum, let me know).
I am attracted to certain people and the stimulation they provide me. I’ve learned the people I choose to surround myself with stir in me a particular passion of some sort, whether they’re internet people who love LEGOs, my movie/tv buddies, my running buddies, my social justice minded buddies, my dorky board game buddies, and just buddies I can sit for a few hours with and not say a word. They help me to feel “normal.”
I need these people in my life because they remind me of who I am. They keep me grounded in my passions. Being an introvert means I can be completely content with the solitude and quiet moments, but I still need human touch and love. Sometimes I forget who I am. They remind me. They call me out for being a jerk. They also are able to find the awesomeness in me, and tell me. They empower me. They value me. These friends can do this without saying a single word. They’re my super heroes.
And I always hope I can give to them what they give me.
Here are some photos from the wedding. I’m going to blog about Megan tomorrow, so more pictures from the wedding and what we’ve been doing the last couple of years.
The “other” kinds of people
The other kinds of people are not needed. They’re cut off – physically or digitally – but always intentionally. This had to be done more than a few times. And that’s okay. We all need to be okay with trimming some people out of our lives. I think that’s a mature part of growing up.
These people cut off are trolls. Those who don’t know how to apologize (another topic to explore later). Mean spirited individuals. Those who are dishonest. Those who expect me to be someone I’m not. These people are sometimes extended family members.